We all want success and we want it now. We’ve been taught to “reach for the stars” and set big goals. As a result, sometimes we expect so much of ourselves and our horses that we are rarely happy with our results.
If that's you ... read on to find out the ONE THING you need to do to stop being so hard on yourself.
Why Your Expectations Are Damaging Your Horse Riding Confidence
If you’ve ever said (even to yourself), “I should be better than this!”
Then you end up feeling like a failure because that “I should be” is really a disguise for that self-defeating old mantra that whispers quietly “I’m not good enough”.
But what if you are exactly where you should be – where you need to be.
Maybe where you think you should be is simply wishful thinking.
Replace the phrase “should be” with “wish I was” …
- “I wish I was better than this.”
- “I wish I was able to …”
- “I wish I wasn’t so …”
What are you basing your opinion that you “should be …” on? Who are you comparing yourself to?
The Real Reason Confident Horse Riders Succeed
There are so many factors that come into play when it comes to riding.
Your results – where you are now – come from not only your physical ability, your competency and your confidence level, but also from your horse’s ability, level of training and confidence.
There is a reason that successful people (you know the ones at the horse shows that always seem to be in the top 3 placings and get Champion awards in not one but multiple classes) do so well.
Confident horse riders put in the hours.
If they haven’t done it themselves then someone else has put the hours into their horse so they can just sit up there, look pretty and – as long as they stay out of the horse’s way – win.
But that's probably not how you want to do it, is it?
According to Malcolm Gladwell in his book “Outliers”, people who become really good at something – really master it – have spent at least 10000 hours working on that particular thing.
Ten Thousand Hours! That’s about 3 hours a day for 10 years.
So, if you've been riding for 10 years, but only 1 hour a week ... you've only put in about 520 hrs (1 hr x 52 wk x 10 yr).
That’s being generous and assuming you didn’t miss a single hour in any year because of illness, injury, vacations, holidays, etc.
How Much Time Do You Need To Be A Confident Horse Rider?
Now, you don't need to put 10,000 hours into your riding to become good at it – unless you want to be competitive at the highest levels of the sport.
But, it puts into perspective the amount of time needed to develop a particular level of skill.
Chances are slim to none that you will progress very far in developing mastery of any skill if you only put in 1 hour of practice a week.
Now lots of people enjoy a weekly riding lesson and are quite happy to spend that time in the saddle.
They don’t want or expect to achieve much more than the connection with the horse.
But, if you want to progress in your training – for personal fulfillment or to achieve awards and recognition in the show ring – the once a week hourly ride is not going to get your there.
Are Your Horse Riding Expectations In Line With Your Reality?
Most people get discouraged about their horse riding ability when they feel that they aren’t making progress at the rate they “should”. Or that they aren’t as good as “her” or “him” or “them”.
We are certainly masters at comparing ourselves to others. Or to what we think other people expect of us.
We’ve all had more than 10000 hours practicing that skill. But, it's not helpful to any of us!
When your expectations aren't in line with your reality (i.e. your other commitments & responsibilities don’t allow you to ride 3 -6 hours a week) then you won’t be as successful in the show ring as “that other competitor that wins everything”.
Even if you're a pleasure rider, neither your riding skill nor your horse’s training will progress very far or very fast.
You can either be frustrated with yourself, your coach and your horse and keep your expectations.
Or, you can adjust your expectations to match the reality of your situation.
If the reality is that you can't commit to the level of training that those other riders can ...
...then stop being so hard on yourself.
Adjust Your Expectations From "Winning" To "Doing My Best".
Evaluate each ride honestly.
Find at least one thing that went well. Celebrate that! Focus on that!
Where could you improve? And what do you need to do in order to improve it? That's your homework.
And most importantly, put your focus on Enjoying Every Ride.
Stop Feeling Anxious About Riding Your Horse
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